Looking back over the year

December 12th to 27th.


It has been 2 weeks since I last updated my blog and so much has happened.

Poker wise I have played the Sunday Million twice and came 174th and 140th in succession. The week I came 174th was a little upset as I played virtually perfect poker and did not make 1 mistake throughout. A good weeks work on line collecting nearly $2,000.00 each week for a few hours work.
Live. I have managed to get some Christmas money in the NLH game and also the dealer’s choice I play in on a Monday.

Christmas is fast approaching as is 2009.
I have spent the last few months thinking about my life and what direction I would like it to go in for next year.
What do I want to be doing?
Who do I want to be doing it with?
How can I make this happen?


BACK TO BASICS

This is the long over due and needs to be done if I want to carry on as a successful poker player!
2008 Was my first losing year in 12 years and there is a reason for this that I can change.

I have been very lucky over the past12 years, I have learned a lot on the way and managed to pay for my crazy lifestyle. Poker is a sick game and a bad run was due (I guess). 2008 for me was a time where I was going through a lot in my life so my focus was not 100% on the game, this does not help and with pressure and the mind wondering the results would only show 1 thing. Bad news.

I couldn’t win a race, I couldn’t win a 75% / 25% not even AA v any 2 cards, that’s how bad it was. This wasn’t for a week or two or even a month. This was for about 6 months. I did stop playing so much and re evaluated my game. I tried a lot of things but there was really only 1 thing I needed to do.
Change my life………………

Over the years I have played in small games, big games, easy games hard games……The truth is if you are greedy and want to make big money you need to play in big games with more risk- In the bigger games you usually find that the standard of poker is a little better and they are also a lot more astute to read you…
I have kept books for years on my profit and loss and when I used to play small stakes and win 100K a year with a few cashes in tourneys tax free the first thought is to move up stakes. When I started playing in bigger games I noticed the obvious, when I was winning I was winning more and when I was losing I was losing more. Problem was when I was wining I was enjoying it and spending the money and when I was losing it affected me and my life and I needed to find the money to pay for this.
I am not really a saver of money. If I have ever wanted something I did it or bought it and did not care what the costs, just the way I am. This started to cause me a problem when after 2 months the income was not coming in. I was making final tables in big events and not managing to win and taking small chunks which covered expenses and a little was left over. I had a girlfriend that drove me insane and did not understand me and poker. My hands were never standing up and my draws not coming in. I played in a big PLO game in Spain one I can dream of finding here in the UK I couldn’t win there, I couldn’t win anywhere.

I decided to move back to the UK for a while and come and spend time with the ones I am close to and love.
Spain was great but it has changed a lot over the years and I needed to move forwards with my life as I am 30…………….WTF where did time go!

I wrote a TV show over 3 years ago that I have tried and tried to get out there, I know I am byest but it is the nuts and it would be so big. I have also got plans for 2 new businesses which require me working again and working hard and putting poker to one side which is not easy to do when it is your only source of income.

After much thought I have decided that I will play poker twice a week now and focus on building the business as poker will be there in 2 years, 10 years even 25 years if that is how long it takes.
There is more to life than poker and I need to start enjoying myself again.

Poker is like a drug, it can get to a stage of unhealthiness where you never go out anymore unless it is to play poker as all you want to do is play. You end up feeling when you are out like all you want to do is play poker or that you have nothing to say for yourself except talk poker….. This can be due to the way it affects your mind.
I needed to get out from this and back to feeling good about myself and life.
This was going to take a lot of self help and time but if I didn’t do it then my life could soon be over and I would be a very sad lonely man with no life, this was not what I have been planning for 30years so I need to change!

Today I feel a new man, I have read books and helped myself decided what I want from my life and set plans for making them reality.
I know what I want; I know how I can achieve it, now I have to make it happen.

POKER
Back to basics.
Smaller games regular income, 1000 a week live and 1000 a week on line over the year is 100,000 like earning 200,000 and paying tax but for only 2 days work a week plus the odd tourney.


WORK.
I will now have 5 days and nights a week to work on building my empire without worrying about money coming in.

BUSINESS
Focus and dedicate time and energy. I used to be a work-a-holic I know what hard work is and I am prepared for it again. 2 years hard work now will give me 50 years of fun and happiness.

FAMILY
I love my family and they have helped me through this tough year. I am close to my mum, dad and brother and I want to thank them all for there support.
I have never lied about my gambling or poker playing wins or losses I am true to myself and I know it is the only way to be.
I love my niece and nephew and the more time I spend with them the more I want my own kids.

Christmas is not the same without children around, I stayed with my brother, his wife and the kids over Christmas eve and spent Christmas day at my Dads with all the family. It has been a while since we all had a Christmas together and it made it all so clear. I can’t believe I am saying this but I think I am ready for my own family.

Since all of these discovery’s and changes in my life things have gone from strength to strength, my confidence is back and my zest for life is back.
I could be down and miserable but that will get me nowhere. I have plans for my great life and I think I am lucky that I have a second chance and I will make the most of it.

2009 is almost here
I will spend this year getting everything I want. It will not be easy but if it was then I guess everyone would be happy.

Wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year.